Listen to me

Part 4
(Note: The Girl's name is now "Ellie" and The guy's name is "Carl")

She picked up her phone twice and left it aside twice. She wasn't sure if she could text him this late but she couldn't help herself. Her guts churned her. Carl hadn't called her the next day and tonight she felt frantic. She did not know what her behaviour had meant to Carl, but she hoped as hell that he didn't hate her. It was 01:47 AM she noticed, 2 nights without a word? She picked up the phone again and typed "Carl?" and pushed the send button. As soon as she sent the message she felt her nerves burn and felt a wave of anxiety.

Feelings she was unaware of burst into Ellie. She bit her lips cussing under her breath for having sent it. But.. she could.. she had a right to.. didn't she? It was just a text she told herself. Calm down she thought and turned the other side of the bed facing the lamp bursting yellow across her face. Her heart almost sank when she heard her phone buzz. She picked it up and read "Ellie? (: " to which she felt relief taking over her. "You haven't spoken to me or .. texted? Are we good?" she sent. "Baby, I thought you were mad at me.. would you believe me if I told you I am standing right outside your apartment and was debating whether to ring the bell or not?????" his message read. And the bell rang. She was shocked and before she knew it she sprang out of her bed and opened the door where he stood in his bed hair and comfy clothes "Hey you" Carl said as Ellie examined him. "Want to let me in or are you just going to check me out?" he smiled kindly and she let him in. She locked the door and was just turning when he threw his hands around her pulling her to him. He locked her in his embrace and she found herself burying her face in his shoulder happy.. happy to know things were the same between them. He set his face on her head as they hugged and spoke in a mushed voice "God have I missed you, Midget" he said. She giggled and looked up from his hug and pulled his cheeks.

She pushed him away, he let her. She felt a little awkward for no reason and he could sense it. He switched the conversation and inquired where Rish was "She is at her mom's" said Ellie. "So you're saying we have your apartment to us?" he arched his brow. She facepalmed so hard he couldn't help laugh. He moved across the room into the kitchen switching on the lights and rummaged the fridge irritably to which Ellie inquired "What do you want? Don't molest the fridge" she said "Do you not have any guy food in here? Like meat? Fried food? Uggh" he picked up bread and cheese spread "this will do" he tossed all of those in Ellie's hands "get to work El" he demanded. Ellie squinted her eyes at him to which he passed a knife and a plate in addition and said "Oh and I don't mind some Coffee either" he grinned. She shook her head as she rolled her eyes and said "Why are we friends again" and in reply he simply parked his butt on the kitchen counter waiting for her to fix him some food. "Uggh. Moron" she said as she started. "So why didn't you call me?" he said looking at her hands move swiftly. He never noticed how tiny her hands were compared to his he thought. "I..." she shrugged and looked at him "Why didn't you?" she said almost thoughtfully. "I thought you were mad at me for J.." he looked at her now as he spoke "June?" she completed? He just nodded. She looked back down fixing the sandwich "hot? or cold?" she asked "What?" he said like he'd be slapped? "The coffee?" she smiled "Cold" he said "Well? Aren't you? Mad? At ... Me?" he said softly.

She smiled while her thoughts ran back to his relationship with June and how they looked like the best couple. They always seemed to get attention where ever they went. She loved Carl to death and wanted happiness for him no matter where. But June.. June put herself first instead of Carl. It was Okay to be selfish but she was a different kind of a selfish, she disrespected his friends, his love and manipulated him. This bothered Ellie. Not to mention June and Ellie never really got along and Carl really did hurt on that. June was his girlfriend but Ellie.. Ellie was his best friend, he didn't have to explain what was going on to her and she would understand. "So? Either you don't want to feed me or you're really not paying attention to what I said" he said breaking her thoughts. "Whaaa?" she said when she realized she put all the milk and water in the electric kettle which was now boiling "I am so sorry Carl, I really am. I don't know what.. Jesus! I am sorry." she felt really bad she screwed up his coffee. "hey come on El.." he got down the platform and hugged her from behind urgently pulling her torso to his "that's alright, so what? Hot coffee sounds a better idea right now anyway" he caressed her shoulders and realized what he did and pulled away.

 She smiled and said "I would never be mad at you Carl, its your life.." she said "But?" he added? "But .. I wish you knew when to stop being kind to people who took advantage of you." she said in one painful breath as she poured coffee in two mugs and they walked into her room where she placed the coffee and sandwiches on the desk and turned to find him standing right there. He tilted his head and said close to her face "Like you?". "What?" she said. "You don't realize when to stop being nice either." still holding his face close to hers. "Rubbish. I'm brutal" She snorted feeling exposed to him in this proximity. "Nah!" he said "You're pretty damn nice El..." he smiled his half smile which made her stomach turn into a valley of butterflies. He caught her expression and dived in the moment "Ah Ellie, Stop embarrassing me. If you need to kiss me just ask." he joked to which Ellie just rolled her eyes at him.

"You don't realize you're worth Ellie. You keep coming back for people even when they don't deserve it. You have taught me the little patience and love I know. You want me to give that off??" his question posed a hidden concern. She held her gaze on her mug as she spoke "I know June is great, you feel happy with her Carl. I just had a moment. It's gone. Don't worry about it, I will always support your decisions like I have." She managed a smile she thought was convincing "June is a great girl." she said. He spoke with his mouth full of a bite "You're selling Bull today?" he swallowed. "Baby, you're no good at lies." he laughed. "Whatever" she shrugged sipping and sinking back on her beanie. He couldn't help but get up and go beside her and hug her from behind as she sipped her coffee and whispered in her ear "Do you mind if I stay back at your place tonight? Since that evil witch isn't here?" he breathed so lightly it tickled her. She only turned so lightly to face him and said "If you need an excuse to run away from your Girlfriend?" she raised her eyebrow sarcastically. He tickled her ribs and nodded in approval "Not Bad El! You're getting a hang of it." he said. "Now! Can I stay? Please? We can talk all night. We haven't done it in a long time." he almost begged like a little puppy. "Alright Alright!" she said. "What if June asks you where you are right now?" she asked plainly "She will survive. Or won't! Either way, I don't fret with her friends so she shouldn't be nosey when it comes to the only girl I like hanging out with." he said pushing Ellie's hair on one side and rested his chin on her shoulder as he spoke. "El?" he said. "Hmmm.." she said too absorbed with this proximity. "Never leave me. Kay? No matter what." he put his arms across her hugging her and leaned his head on hers. "I won't. You're my Carl-bomb." was all she said. "Are you planning to finish the coffee ever? Lets crash already" he pulled away her mug and pulled her off the beanie. She tossed all the dishes in the sink and came back to the room and found him on the bed attaching one of the speakers to his phone and playing songs.


She sat beside him holding a book in her lap. "Seriously? That's what you're gonna do?" he pinched her arm. "You know, I remember how the first day we met. You were reading a book at the cafe while Rish sat across you. My eyes kept coming back to you for some reason while Rish kept on chatting to some idiot boyfriend of hers. You were so absorbed in reading you didn't realize or care people trying their luck to get your attention." he said as if narrating a story. "My attention? I can only imagine the cashier wanting my attention" she laughed. He shook his head and draped his arm around her and said "You really don't know your worth. You are beautiful El." he snapped. She could feel her face go warm and hoped she didn't blush. The music had changed to a softer song now. "I wanted you to look up. So bad.." searched for words "I wanted you to look up so bad and look at me" he said again. "Why?" said Ellie. "Because at that moment I couldn't imagine going back home without knowing you.. or having you as a part of my life." he confessed. "Carl.." was all she said and her fingers didn't have control anymore. She reached for his hair and slid her fingers through his hair almost not knowing what she did. "Ellie. Don't let any one separate us. The day I met you.. that night. I have never been happier before. I considered myself lucky when you even smiled at me." he stammered "I .. I.. I would never lose you to anyone. Call it fate? You know I don't believe in that bullshit but you do. You always have El. But this thing called fate.. It got me you, the best person I know. I don't need to pretend around you. Being with you is as easy as breathing Ellie." he said it all like he never thought he had so much to say. Ellie now lay beside him looking at him and said "Carl, when I saw you smiling at me. I had to recheck and look behind.. I was so astonished to have YOU looking at me. I was like damn, what did I do right.?" She shook her head trying to make the conversation a little funny. "Shh. Listen to me El.." he pulled her closer. He cupped her face "Ellie.. Why am I doing this..." he was in that moment not the Carl she knew. He was so cautious, careful yet so scared and vulnerable! He swallowed hard "It hurts when you're away El." he spoke as his thumbs brushed her cheekbones gently.

They could both feel the tension. They could both feel a strange spark they always did at this proximity.Ellie pulled away though her body refused to. Carl caught her waist and turned her back to face him. "Don't!!" he protested like he lost something "Don't El. I promise I won't do anything to screw us." he begged. "I...We.. we should sleep." was all Ellie could manage to say. "Yes. We should." he nodded suddenly realizing what he was doing. "Do you mind if I hold you El? Do you feel that it's Ok?" he asked. "Just Sleep Carl. We'll wake up and this will be alright." she broke down saying the last word.

Carl felt a sudden wave of emotions over him and he wanted to make her Ok. He wanted her to know he was there but he knew he had done too much. Scared Ellie too much. Ellie, the same Ellie who he always thought of as a responsibility of his. He always looked out for her because he knew she was too easy to hurt. He hurt her now. How could he? All he wanted was to tell her how special she was, but he fucked up. AGAIN! He was still thinking this through when he pulled Ellie right beside her and covered Ellie and him in the same blanket and kissed her head. "It's alright Ellie. I'm sorry. But I need you to hug me right now. We'll sleep now." and she did.

 She always thought it was funny how he could ask anything of her and she didn't think twice and followed his instructions. She hugged him and he held her cautiously as they both lay there. Both lying close. Ellie would give anything to know what Carl was thinking right now and Carl.. Oh Carl would do anything to calm Ellie right then. They survived everything together - heartbreak, loss, pain and happiness. But how would they ever figure what was happening to them? They didn't speak there after that night, but both lay awake in each others hold thinking all the while... thinking what and why and yet not questioning the innocence of it all. Ellie gave in to sleep. Carl looked down at Ellie and smiled as she lay there - beautiful, innocent and vulnerable. His phone rang and he turned only enough to grab it to put it on silent careful not to wake Ellie up. It was June. He looked at the phone and then back at Ellie. He knew what felt right and did what he thought was best that moment. He kissed El's forehead lightly with affection and moved up to answer June's call, when he moved out of the room he turned back and looked at Ellie once again. That was when he froze. He COULDN'T!

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Listen to me

She sat there at the Cafe, at her usual spot, reading her book while absent-mindedly sliding her fingers on the rim of the cup as she read. She was mad. Mad would actually do little to what she felt the previous day, this was what she needed, a little "Me time". She knew reading would do good and keep her from torturing herself to thoughts of him.

She turned the next page and sipped her Cuppa when she heard her phone buzz and didn't even have to see it to know who it was. She ignored the ringtone on her phone and continued reading taking a deep breath. This happened for a while, her phone rang like 8 times and she didn't bother to pick it up. After what seemed like a while she just looked up and set a bookmark on the page and closed it. She saw outside, it was late afternoon, it was a Sunday. She turned and ordered for one more cuppa when she heard a voice say "Regular for me too". It was him, he raised a rather concerned brow up and sank into the chair opposite her while she angrily pulled her book up and started reading again. He stretched across the table and pulled the book off and said "Hey" she didn't reply. She looked at her phone and scrolled along when he added "I sort of called you like 20 times and left you a lot of messages in the last hour". Again! No reply. He got impatient, he could not bear her silence, he wasn't used to her being that "Detached" with him, it stung him. "Look I'm sorry. Please?" he hoped she would as much as at least look at him this time but all she did was called her friend on phone "hey Rish, are you free, lets go out....." while she said this he snapped "I am here, in front of you, please don't ignore me" he bleakly protested. This was it. She could not bear him like this. She had never liked to see him upset, never because of her "Rish, I'll call you in a bit, Bye babe." she said and looked at him.

He was looking at her. The eyes of someone who really meant their words when they said it, he had meant his apology. She tossed her hair out of her bun and started at him "Its ok". He knew what she actually meant was "Screw you" but he passed her cuppa towards her and stretched his hand to her face, irritated; wanting to pull her cheek but she backed away.

He was trying, she knew. He sipped his coffee in silence while she had hers feeling .. guilt? Why? What the hell? He stood her up yesterday, didn't have the courtesy to call or even inform her, she had taken a leave from work for him and she really was looking forward to spend time with him. He stood up and offered his hand "Right now, let's go, I am sorry, I want to make up for yesterday. I know I am not easy to be with .. but please, don't ignore me like this. I can do without anyone but.. you are .." he searched for words "please just come with me now" was all he said. She stood up not looking at him and cleared the cheque picking up her bag and out the cafe leaving his hand hanging in the air. He shook his head as she left and when he reached his car he saw her .. standing beside the car.. stomping her foot not looking at him. He couldn't help smile and throw his hands around her pulling her to him squeezing her. She couldn't be more angry at him than she was right then and he couldn't be more relieved than he was now. She didn't hug him back, but didn't mind him hugging her none-the-less. He smiled and pulled her cheek when he was done as they both sat in the car. "Assuming you're mad, because you refused my one-of-a-kind hug, I think I'll do the talking." he said rather Chirpy.


He looked at her hoping she'd smile but she didn't and after a while of driving he pulled over at one of the low lane bridges, empty for a sunday he thought. He got out and opened her door offering her a hand, she got out leaving his hand hanging again. He shook his head hurt again, he wanted her to talk to him. She hadn't text or called him in 2 days. He wanted her to be her chirpy, weird and crazy self with him. It was hard to believe he actually missed her chatter.. but mostly he missed her smile. She propped herself on his car's Bonnet while he stood in front of her. A stray lock of hair flew across her face while she looked at the sun set. He ached to pull that stray hair off her face and tuck it behind her ear, but he didn't want her to get mad.

"How was your day" she said plainly. "What? Me?" he replied rather surprised "Oh no, I meant the wind, how was your day dear wind. I was actually being poetic with the wind." she rolled her eyes. He laughed in relief and said "It just started, right now. With you." now smiling his angelic smile. She wanted to kill him, she really did hate his smile sometimes, he made her head go calm with that good-for-nothing annoying angel smile of his. "Demon" she said. "what?" he confirmed. "Nothing" she said. He had enough of it, he pulled the stray hair of hers and tucked it behind her ear gently, gentle enough to make her look at him. He smiled and cupped her face in both his hands and brought his face close to her. She wasn't sure what was going on but she was too dazed to react. He cupped her face and gently kissed her forehead. She felt her heart go humming-bird and a smile escape her lips. He slowly looked down at her and reflected her smile with his.

"I am sorry baby, I didn't want to ditch you yesterday, hate me a little less please?" he said. 

"She threw her arms around his tall waist as that was all she could reach and hugged him awkwardly "It's ok, I should've known.. it's you we're talking about" she said shaking her head. He pulled away and sat down on the bonnet beside her and said "June" he murmured. She got alarmed at that. JUNE, his on and off Girlfriend. "WHAT?" she said rather rudely. "She came over my place last evening and .. " he left his words hanging for her to figure. "So you ditch our plans for your ex.. I mean your girlfriend.. Whatever the hell she is to you" she spat "Right, why not, because obviously she is the epitome of significance in your life." She got down from the bonnet and he shut his eyes shaking his head as she did. "Baby, she.." he said before he got cut "You know what, let's go, drop me home. NOW" she said angrily as she sat in the car. He got in and scanned her angry features. He put his hand on hers firmly making sure she wouldn't shrug it and said "I am sorry. I couldn't think.." he said "You know she hates me right? YOU KNOW that don't you?" she cut him again.

He took a deep breath and said "All I am saying is.. wait, why are you so mad at me? Because JUNE visited me? She is .. my girlfriend.. well you know what I mean. I have history with her" he snorted. She gave him a stink eye and said "FINE. DRIVE. Screw me then, blow your plans with your friend for someone who keeps hurting you with her tantrums. Thanks man, good job" she said. 

He knew she cared, but just wanted this conversation to end "What do you want me to say Baby? Tell me and I will say it." he blurted. She got hurt at this and said softly "Just drive man, lets go, I don't think you need to be told shit, but next time, don't make plans with me, if you do then have the courtesy to cancel it instead of leaving me hanging, alright? That answer your question? Now home please.It's almost 7 PM now" she could feel her cheeks burn and a tear roll down her cheek which she wiped off immediately. He heard her speak and just drove rest of the way.. both silently looking away into the darkness. When they reached her apartment he wanted to hug her and apologise for being the way he was but as soon as they stopped the car she sprang out of the seat and shut his door and hasted to her apartment. All he did was look behind her as she did.. looking at how she could dismiss his situation, but he knew he was wrong. He always did this to her, made her wait, treated her as an option, didn't bother to tell her he cared. He was now thinking about it all, how he was such an idiot to treat her the way he did, she was such a good person, an honest friend. She loved him with no expectation but of friendship, but he always failed her. Every nerve in his body told him to step out and go after her and make the situation better and he was doing it when his phone rang cutting his thoughts into reality. It said "June Calling" he looked up and took and deep breath and looked at the vacant path leading to HER. She wouldn't understand he thought and received June's call "Hey babe, yeah.. Give me 10 minutes." he answered. 

He looked at her apartment up the 4th floor as her room's light lit up and whispered "If only you listen to me..." when his phone buzzed again. A text. "I'm sorry I yelled, I had no right. You take care xoxo" it said from her. He smiled vaguely and looked up at her apartment again, she was looking down at his car this time. She waved him goodbye, he felt a wave of emotions covering him as he waved her back and drove out. She did it again. How could she always manage to forgive him? Why did she? He was heading for June's but his head weaved around her thoughts as he did, wondering, arguing in his thoughts of what it was.

----------------------------------------PART 3-------------------------------

Listen to me

There she was, working at her office and scribbling notes off the internet. She liked being sure about things, doubly perhaps. She got in this habit of subconsciously biting her lips when she was confused and fiddling with her pen. She had had enough of work that day, when she saw the time it was close to 6:30 in the evening to which she sighed in relief and sprawled off her chair and shut her notebook close.


"You better be not working." said one text on her phone from Him. "We are going out for a movie :P" said the other. "Reply you dumbass" the third and "Fine I'll ask one of those chicks out then" said the last text in a span of what 3 hours? Ok, this was weird she thought. Him? He asked her out for a movie? She couldn't help but smile while she called him up and he answered with a "You are such a little piece of dramaqueen, why won't you reply." he said. "I am still at work, winding up now of course. So what's with the movie" she giggled. "I'm around your work place, come down in 2" was all he said and hung up. "B..." she hated it when he did this. Absolutely mad that he never heard what she had to say sometimes "Prick" was all she said while getting out.

He opened the door for her to help herself in the car. She was putting all her things away while he patiently stared at her like it was an apocalypse and raised a furious eyebrow at her. "What?" she said. He shrugged a rather rude jerk and resumed driving without a word. "What's with you lately?" she shook her head not expecting a reply. "And you have forgotten how to greet me haven't you, you little moron" he gritted his teeth. She laughed loud enough to piss him off and turned to him while he drove and gave him a brief hug and ruffle his hair. "Don't spoil the doo idiot" he said as he pulled her one of her cheeks in return. He hated it when his hair was bad. She shook her head and rolled her eyes and sat back into the seat comfortably. "So where are we going" she inquired "Movie?". "No, I already got someone else to tag along with me since you didn't answer" he said lazily "Oh....ok" she said, partly disappointed. "Who are you going with?" she asked "Someone you don't like" he grinned at her. She didn't have the energy to ask who it was. He pulled her hand and rest it on the steering wheel and said "Hold it for me, I need to look at you while you burn down to jealousy." he was amused at her silence. She hit his hand and pulled hers away as he laughed rather enjoying this.

He drove down to her place and parked his car and turned to her turning the lights off just to see how pissed she was. She didn't turn to look at him. She knew he would speculate and simply said "See you, thanks for the ride..." he poked her rib while she said this. "oww" she complained and turned to look at him to only find him smiling his crooked angelic smile. "I am waiting down here, get changed and come" he said in an even tone. "No! Carry on with whatever you have planned" she said dryly. He shook his head once and held his smile and said "20 minutes enough time for you to get ready?". She hated this. He was so damn annoying and good at convincing her the same time. She breathed heavily and gasped "FINE" was all she said and couldn't help smiling secretly when she got out of his car. She ran up to her apartment and pulled out her clothes to a semi-casual and quickly freshened up and to her surprise was ready in like 10 minutes and back down to the parking. She pulled the door open and saw him on a call, busy blasting someone away. Curiously she wriggled her brows at him and he shook his head while on phone assuring her it was Ok and turned the gas on and drove. His gaze turned to her again and this time he smiled and raised his free hand to make a thumbs up. She smiled at him and asked him to drive in actions. They were rather used to each other. He was on the same call most of the way and she thought of it a good time to reply to everybody's texts and calls. She checked her facebook and saw His status say "Giving In" and she looked at him while he finally hung up and said "You look nice" in the same tone.

"Giving In? What? Whom? Where? What is that about?" she asked ignoring his compliment. He facepalmed and laughed "Don't stalk my profile you little moron" he joked "I am NOT. It's there on my timeline" she murmured. So he didn't want to tell her what that was about, that wasn't new to her. She got really pissed at him, he always wanted to know what she did but never really bothered enough to actually describe what was happening inside his head. "Where are we going, or is that a big secret too?" she snorted "Dinner" he said plainly. "Where?" she asked again. He didn't reply. "WHERE? WHERE?" she nudged him. "Shut up, do you have a cab to catch or something? You're with me, we go where I take you and this is the time when we both unwind, remember?" he said the last word matching her gaze. She felt a wave of giddiness the way he said it. Like it implied something she had forgotten. He smiled victoriously to finally shut her off and said "Now do the honours and turn on some good music baby." he said nodding his head to the player. She couldn't remember the last time he did this. Drive, spending time and being laid back.. dinner outside? She was a little lost for words or to react in any way. She played one of them songs they both loved to which they both looked at each other at the same time and started singing cheerfully. "I like you when you're not a complete ass you know?" she confessed. Changing the gear he smiled and said nothing.

There was this acute need for her to reason out what was happening, but there was this happiness she felt with him at that time which she thought she had long forgotten they both had as friends. She missed spending time with Him. She missed knowing what he always did, his silly jokes, she hated his routine and she hated the fact he was sucked in so many other issues and people and made no time for her. But this .. this was refreshing, like a tender reminder of the great times they had before he got busy. She wanted to ask him what was happening again, but he seemed to happy to really burst his bubble. She pulled his cheek softly and hugged his friend momentarily and pulled back. "Ass" she said "You really need to stop being a pervert baby, you ain't getting it" he laughed. Perfect! They were both at ease again, joking, arguing, being silly and unwinding their day together. "Listen to me, maybe I don't have work tomorrow, come with me tomorrow?" he said. She looked at him with eyes of agreement even without knowing what place or where was he talking about, he knew she wouldn't ever refuse his request, and a request that came out like that? No way in hell would she say no. She nodded and they spent the rest of the evening in glee and fun. Being themselves! Being with the people who mattered, they'd forgotten how happy they made each other. This was a nice change, a change she didn't mind that stayed. She loved all her friends, him, in particular she cared for the most maybe... She just brushed the back of his hand which was busy directing the gears gently and let it go that night, waiting for whatever came the next day.

---------------------------------End of Part 2----------------------------------------

Listen to me

It was getting late in the evening, she was hanging out at the cafe all by herself reading her book at peace not realizing the time. She looked up because she thought she scattered the coffee on the table and that broke her concentration.

She looked out of the cafe and saw it was getting dark. She pulled her hand up and checked the time and got a little anxious and thought "Where are you?". She shut her book and called for the cheque and caught herself discussing possibilities in her head as to where he might be. He was a friend, the one she just cared for more than she realized she did. She checked her phone it said she had a message "Come home directly, I have a little work on the way." She was glad he at least bothered to drop a text. 

She caught a cab and directed it to his place. She called up her friend "Hey Rish, Don't wait up, long story short, I might get late, you know he is weird to deal with." She got down at the curb of his building and walked her way up to his apartment. She rang the bell to his apartment and was let in by his younger sister. She tossed her bag on the side of the table and let herself in his room and opened the windows, pulled the curtains down before she felt  her hands get wet. She pulled the curtains up again and saw that it was raining and shut the windows off again cussing under her breath. She knew this would give him an extra excuse to be late.

She asked his sister who was giggling at her irritation and smiled back at her. "Kyle, do you need something? Did you eat dinner?" she asked his adorable sister and hung out with her watching some TV. They were playing a game on the Xbox when they heard the bell at the door. The little girl sprang towards the door and let his older brother in "We have been waiting for you" she said "I know Kyle" he smiled back at her with those loving eyes. Kyle caught his hand and brought him in and asked "Where'd she go?" to which he replied said "I know". He let Kyle in her room and shut the door for her to sleep. He came in the kitchen and saw Her, she was making them both some Green tea and turned and said "You're late" while she handed him the mug with a smile. He seemed to roll his eyes and sip it up and said "And you survived it" while he sipped up another go and hugged her with one arm across her back careful not to spill any tea on her and pecked her head. "Uhhh I missed you" she said as she hugged him back and straightened herself up again smiling.

"What took you? Is everything Ok with all your girlfriends? Where's the gang? Hey do you know this book I am reading is getting a little creepy....." she kept talking to him, happy to finally see him when he broke her off saying "Wow, breathe Grandma" to which she snorted and sat down with her mug on the beanie with no conversation after that. He enjoyed this. Making her furious and catching her off guard, it gave him pleasure; the nice kinds. He felt he could make silly conversation with her without being judged and that she understood that, it was nice to unwind and be at home, with someone. "And now I will be served with the dead Silent treatment for a 5..4..3..2.." he looked at her as he spoke and he saw her smiling already and mirrored her smile with his.

"You cannot do that you know?" She argued "Do what?" He dismissed the argument. "Be a jerk and then know your way into being a suave .. person." she fumbled "Person?" he exclaimed, "I rock your world and you know that" he smirked. She shook her head smiling and got up from the beanie taking his empty mug and hers into the kitchen. When she returned she saw him out in the balcony in the rain. "Don't tell me you're secretly Batman" she joked "Na! I am way more sexy and secretive" he looked sideways at her "And I am Batman" they both laughed. "Its pouring dude, I need to get back home if no one's coming plus you still aren't your usual self, so this leads me to the question again what is wrong with you.. you weirdo" she managed to poke his rib. "Nothing really! Just tired" he said. "So why did you call me here?" she asked "because I thought you would be dying to meet me and you know I am noble like that" he looked at her sideways again, this time with his sly smile. "Oh yeah, I was dying, how you know me" sarcasm was what they both shared at their best. They probably loved the sarcasm they shared, they didn't mind it, it was fun for them, they could go on and on for hours. She breathed in  irritation and he sensed that and said "Cuter with flaring nostrils" she squinted her eyes and said "Shut up before I throw you right down this balcony".

"I am leaving, anyway I will see you tomorrow you jackass of a royal highness" she turned inside the room when he caught her hand and said "You really going? Stayyyyyyyy!" She shrugged and said "You, get bored of me and then end up texting stupid people I don't like which even annoys me more" to which he couldn't resist saying "And you still love me.. Admit it!". "SHUT UP" she said and wriggled her wrist out of his hand. He took her bag and flung in off her hand and said "Shut up and stay". This time, in a nicer way "Listen to me, will you?" he smiled his angel smile. He had a crooked smile, the one that ended one side. She hated it, she hated it when he was nice to her because she would listen to him even if he was wrong when he did this... he smiled the most angelic smile. It made her want to fight the world for him and what made it worse was he knew it. He knew he had that power and right on her. She shook her head and sat on the bed to which he raised his collar victoriously and wiggled his eyebrows. She threw a pillow right at him with force "Prick" she said.

"What are we doing now? I am bored and you are going to end up texting people and ignoring me and then I will end up watching some movie while you doze off" She said. "No I am not" he sounded irritated "Don't judge me you midget, I can't help if girls are in love with me". She facepalmed and picked up her book and started reading again. He came next to her on the bed and took the book away from her and gave her a hug. There was nothing in the world she loved more than his hug, it was crazy calm. She felt at peace with him, she didn't have to try at all. She hugged him back and rubbed his back a moment as she did while hugging. "So you're not so bad" she smiled. He smirked right back at her breaking the hug "I rock your world, I keep saying that. Buy it". 

Her phone rang and it was one of his friends' "Zac" she said "Cut it" he said. She made a face "what is wrong?" He said nothing and turned away. She left her phone aside and crawled to him and asked "WHAT IS THE MATTER?" he wasn't looking at her "You should go" was all he said. She got upset at this and rubbed his back "I am sorry, I'll leave" she was leaving again this time picking up her bag and turned to hug him "Bye Weirdo, call me if you need me" she said as she hugged him tight. He felt a hollow in his heart as he hugged back and let her go. Just as she reached the door.. he pulled her back with force and hugged her again "Stop doing this" he said in a whisper. She was caught off guard and was already pissed since before and didn't know how to react.She could feel the tension in his voice and spoke "What did I do? I mean I can't even ask you anything if I do .." she broke off when he interrupted her "Shut up and listen to me.. stop speaking" he hugged her again gently. She didn't mind it. "You're so stupid sometimes I want to yell at you" he said while hugging her. She was really confused. "You don't see the bad in people, no one cares you know?" he continued "Stop being nice to everyone.. specially me" She had to look at him now but he refused to leave her. "What did I do? I am sorry.. I don't know what do you mean." she was worried now. He squeezed her a moment and left her. She looked at him and saw him smile, he held her hand and took her back in the room "I am sorry I am rude to you" he paused "But this is not in my plan" was all he said and smiled at her warmly fixing a stray hair strand that stuck between her eyes. He was acting differently, she could sense it. Before she could ask anything, he made a silly joke about how funny she looked with her hair tied shabbily as he held her hand and they both headed to their room. She wanted to know badly.. she needed to know what he meant earlier. But she had to wait a while before she did ask him, she knew he would get angry if she asked him right away.



--------------------------------------(END OF PART 1)--------------------------------

Riddles those dreams..

Up in the air, Breathing the chills,

Blinding lights, vivid horizons, 

Today I look, look you in the eye,

 I grab the sight to chase the dream.

Touching the unseen, breathing the free,

Drinking despair, shuffling fate, 

Today I wear, wear the ensemble of hope,

I dare it all to chase the dream.

Played the devil, tilting sides,

Trading souls, repeating them chants,

Today I trace the lines of my palm, trace them to reassure,

I endure it all to chase the dream.

Shrugging fear, jazzing away,

Touching my heart to feel again,

Today I know what's at stake, at stake is all,

My life, my name, all to chase a dream, to capture a perfect being.

It's all a riddle, plotting schemes,

Making decisions, uncanny or bleak,

Tossing hope, juggling insight,

All wrapped around, that riddle; my dream.

Tribute to My Idol, Papa.

Perceive what can be done, refrain from thoughts that pull you down. This is something I always say to myself. Defeat whatever is defeating you. Yep, philosophy is the way to go sometimes. Generally, I am as friends call me .. Positive, fun loving, caring and weird in unexplained ways. Lol!

Mind is what we make of it, feelings are how we deal with them and love is reflected how we treat others. For me, my life revolves around my family. For what I am in flesh and blood is how I have lived, fought, battled and loved my way through life even as it is going on.

Family comes first. Fathers! The one and most singular influence that can shape and reflect in a child's life. A father and daughter relationship will forever be unexplained and yet the most endearing one any family can encounter. A girl's first true love is always her dad. She sees her hero, her idol and her safe nest in her father's eyes. Rest assured, I am a proud daddy's lil' baby!

                  

They say God could not be everywhere so they made moms, true. I think God knew a lot .. He created angels, protectors, faith and taught honor to mankind by sending dads. 

We as girls try to find ways to impress our dad, may it be by knowledge, talent or just being downright pampered. Little do we dummies know that in our father's eyes we are the most priceless possession they could have. 

       

For me, my favorite day in the world was when I was born to my PAPA! There is this surety in life when you are with your father, that no matter how bad life gets, one stroke of his hand on your head will wipe away all worries. Such is the power of a father. His eyes will speak volumes of compassion and protection for his daughter, oh don't get started about how possessive a father is for his daughter, Lol! 

In life, no matter how low I was or how happy I was, I always knew I had my dad to who'd always say " Baby, no matter how bad the situation is in life, don't worry till I'm alive, no one has the strength to do you harm." How do you hear such words and not feel safe? How can you hear something that has unquestionable power and calm and not feel secure? For me, my dad, has always been and always will be my strength and my way to never quit.

"Times get hard, people will change, but know one thing, Papa's a call away" .. Things like these, cute things dad used to say. I mean come on, it used to sound so funny sometimes and I used to be like "really?" And then we used to laugh. I have learnt so much, so much in life in such less time that I have lived. 

I have grown and changed as an individual drastically in the last few years. When someone you've banked on all your life and felt secure in presence of suddenly .. When something so drastic and unimaginable slaps you in the face, life leaves you a hole you can't really fill. My lowest in life has been when my Hero, my God, my Idol and my strength - Papa; passed away. A hole? A space? A void? I was deranged.. Felt physically handicapped, mentally flushed, looking at people for answers with the same question everytime with an answer that was forever understood. Losing someone is heartbreaking unquestionably. Losing someone in front of your eyes standing incapable of help or unsure if your final words are heard or even registering to the one sole person your life revolves around at his last moments........... I cannot explain the desperation, the pain, the frustration and the prayers you make to God or the devil to reverse time.

No amount of assurance from friends, no amount of prayers or no amount of time can fill a loss that has left a part of you defenseless and wounded.

Whatever I am, if good I owe it to my dad and mom. If bad, maybe whatever lessons I have learnt along way have really left a mark. In life, there is a time to grow up and we all do, no doubt. Growing up only got harder when reality hit me - it was time to bid farewell to all dreams that once I'd seen keeping my vision with dad in mind. Realizing each day, when I wake up, when I go greet his photograph its hard to believe I won't get to hug and kiss him good morning which he really got mad at if I did not. That I wouldn't share all the half made up stories that he easily caught and said "Beta, Tera papa hu, gappe kam mar". I would no longer listen to the experiences he had to share. The music I grew up listening to because of him .. Eagles, Elvis, Andy Williams .. The movies and documentaries we used to watch together and not sleep half nights debating and discussing the truth and rubbish in them. Debating on whether "Que sera sera" or "Angelo" was better to listen to. Discussing wars and history.... Yes! That's what my dad and I did, always discuss things like friends. I mean who does that? Sports, music, politics, people, rights and wrongs .. Motivation and of course the strict business all out of love and nothing but love and so much more that I can add.

As soon as they'd sleep I would turn my tv on at 2 in the night for football and dad used to wake up and check up on me in my room and go, "what match?" And then grab his seat next to me and ask "Chai? popcorn?" used to be like Gosh! I cannot get over how much fun life was with my Papa. Watching television at night and then after the match he used to be like "if you don't wake up for school tomorrow ..." And smile. The gravity of a father daughter relationship is epic. Even as I say all this I don't know whether I'm smiling or .. You know .. 

                    

    

People say you get used to not having someone in life, ask us, none of us, not a day goes by where we don't remember dad. On lookers and so called "good wishers" speculate on how happy we seem to be and frame morally disturbing statements. Do you as outsiders really bloody care what happens? No! We plaster smiles on our faces because that's what we have been taught "face life, it only gets harder, smile." 

On Father's Day our dad used to get so mad at us if we didn't wake up early and greet him with hugs and wishes. Sometimes, we used to actually let half day go by to test his patience and he would be like "Mother's ko Hi sari importance? Hah! No one loves dad?" Till date, Father's Day has always been more in mind than any other day because of the importance a single man held in my life - my dad.

There will never be going back to him when I am in trouble, never will I get to see him again, no more hugs, no more hand on my head to calm me down.. No more discussions that matter as education on life, no more .. Well he's no more.. But he lives.. In memories. You live in my memories and you live and exist in my life so much so I know you're looking down at me right now and thinking why am I up so late and what the hell is keeping me up.. Well, it's you Papa! Happy Father's Day .. I love you to the moon and back.. One thing I am sure of is.. Maybe our time this life has been denied or expired, maybe I won't learn more or hear you again, but someday I will see on on the other side and I will hug you so tight...

So yes, thoughts that can lead you to a low sometimes, just reliving memories can bring you happiness with excruciating reality check.. But that's what life is.. Living and playing your part out right till the very end.

To all the sons and daughters and grandchildren and people, love your parents, we all come with a limited time and once our part is done, there is no staying back. Go run to your parents and tell them you love them, they expect nothing but love from you and that's the ground reality.

Happy Father's Day to all the dad's in the world! :D

For me you have and always will be my inspiration and reason to take life positively because you even in your lows never ever gave up.

Love you Papa..

Xoxo

Cold .. Amazing song!!

LYRICS:

God and His priests and His kings
All were waiting
All will wait
As they go over

Held between heaven and hell
As they're dancing,
As they dance over and over
Over

Cold
Cold

Crimson and bare as I stand
Yours completely,
Yours as we go over

Sing for the lion and lamb 
Their hearts are hunting
Still hearts hold ever and ever
Ever

Cold
Cold

God and His priests and His kings
Turn their faces
Even they feel the cold

What you are given
Can't be forgotten
And never forsaken

What you are given
Can't be forgotten
And never forsaken

What you are given
Can't be forgotten

Cold

(I love this song and cannot get over it since so long now, just thought of sharing it with everyone) Do leave your comments.. This song makes me feel so at home .. Like this song is my blanket and I can sleep under it .. Love this song so much .. Hope ya'll like it too <3 Hope you feel the magic :)
PEACE

xoxoxo

Sleep over it!

God must have some genius ideas when he created us, I mean it. He gave us all day to work, stress, play, do random activities and then .. Night! He could have made us zombie like, we could have had no need to sleep at all and be super alright with it, but he chose to break the day and give us night to sleep. Sleep? Such a small tiny activity which requires no thought .. Yet so powerful! 

We sleep, Why? I don't really know how many people really wonder, or is it just me? We would have not been half the people we are today if we had no sleep. REASON?? (Yep, logic required??) Just imagine a world with no sleep .. Sounds fun? Tiring? No more waiting .. No more restrictions eh? Naa!! If we never had to sleep and wake up the next day how would you fight off what you've felt all day? Let your unconscious self go wander and your eyes make peace.

I strongly have a lot of things to think of .. It's like even if I slept and woke up next morning it feels like I never slept because I keep thinking subconsciously .. It's like I never got rest .. Considering that, JUST THAT! Imagine, how would you ever fight off your feelings for someone you like and keep your anxiety low without sleep? How would you calm yourself off about something so terrible that happened, a bad accident or tragedy in your family .. If you slept if off the next day atleast seemed a little different .. Else you're mind is muddled. How would you feel about a break up or a fight if you never slept it off? You would keep crying or sobbing all day .. Thank God for the "Sand Man" he drugged you to sleep it off. The next day you feel no better no worse .. Atleast you get up on a different note? Life is what you make of it .. If you chose to see it differently .. Then hey .. SLEEP OVER YOU ISSUES .. God knows how he makes it a lil different .. But yes he does!! He makes your yesterday a lil less Painful and your tomorrow a lil more Bearable ... 

I rant, I blabber, I am gullible,I hurt, I love, I cry, I am super weird, super stressed, super curious.... Nothing helps me face haters more than sleep and the fact that I will wake up to a NEW TOMORROW .. Nothing makes me face loved ones more than the fact that I will sleep over all that's been done and be with them next morning.... It's the feeling that counts doesn't it? Skip to a world you know you want to escape reality and free from worldly indulgences .. <3

Sleep over your issues .. May it be a broken or twisted love life, family extremities, ego issues, tragedies .. We are born to face a new tomorrow .. Like we have always been :) 

PEACE

XOXO

I wonder!

Life is busy, life is congested. Life is easy, life is complex. Whatever or however I describe life I am sure it would never remain certain. It's such a rush all of a sudden, so much to do, no time to wait and see through it. Time doesn't wait, true! Just a few months back there I was, wondering how life would be ahead. Whether I'll be somewhere or with someone loved and looks like time just passed by.

It's not easy to confess what you feel, specially when you are used to keeping to yourself. I know how I am the secret locker of stories for my friends and loved ones. So annoying and frustrating really to know you have people around to share your thoughts with, your views, emotions and life to that matter but you just don't have the strength to share it, reason being you are so used to keeping emotions to yourself. Is it just me? Nope! I bet there are so many other people out there who love to keep to themselves and survive just fine.

Lack of trust is what it is maybe? I don't know. Can't really say! But one thing's for sure .. People find a confidant in someone or the other all the time. What hurts is when THAT CONFIDANT doesn't realize he/she has ruined the very faith in them to that matter in anyone by just letting out a simple secret told to them. Its so easy to make friends really, very easy! But to genuinely sort the truest ones out from the lot is quite a task and may take forever.

I wonder where loyalty is lost? No longer do you see people you bank on completely because something or the other will come in the way. May not be a bad intention but something -- maybe their nature changes, attitude, find a better friend, may get busy with life or relationships, busy with a breaking family .. Something or the other keeps a man in today's time from being a loyal friend or a lover.

Just hope for the best for people in the long run. Lets make loyalty and faith a regular thing from a rarity! It's so amazing to know you have someone you can bank on and I bet so many of us yearn to be belonged. Be faithful, be honest, don't bitch about your friends or partners. You never know what hurt her .. You never know  what will be the last time you see her/him again .. Cherish life, love and Friendship! It's a blessing in disguise! <3

I wonder when life would be great for all, without any heartbreaks. Imagine a life so happy! What bliss it would be! :)

Be loyal, Be honest, don't lie and belong to someone! <3
Peace!!!
XOXOXO

You're Next, Respect them

It's a matter of time till we realize how people behave. We take life for granted. We take each day as a routine, not understanding we are only growing older; Speaking of which I am very happy to say I CARE!

I see all types of people, young, infants, old, mid-aged, chirpy, sad, depressed, anxious, loud, conservative, progressive, dominating, carefree and more of them. What makes us is our background and personality. It's easy to flaunt your high standards in life and esteem, very little do we know about ourselves. We look up to elders for sure but have our own thoughts rattling behind in the mind, wanting something different. It's obvious our elders have a difference in opinion and you can't blame them, they grew up in a different time. They know the consequences of actions we take, hence they stop us from being ridiculed or hurt. 

Have anyone of you been to an old age home? Maybe some of you have and for those of you who HAVE, you know how old people are. Elderly people who are strayed and abandoned or left by their family and some people who willingly stay at the old age home because of the misery they're forced to see at their home is itself such a shame. Parents and grandparents, your life is what it is because of them. You owe what you have to them and their guidance. No one was born perfect, you've been carved by experiences. I wonder how young parents or children decide to alienate elders and treat them like crap when old people need them the most. The question is why? Did they not love you when you were tiny? Did they not help you walk when you were young? Did these sweet grandparents or parents not support you with anything you wished for when you needed them the most? Where did your duty to be a good son or daughter vanish? Why can't you take care of them any longer? 

Just because these elder people ask you for a glass of water, or can't hear properly, or can't keep up pace to your fancy life you decide to abandon them? It is shameful. People don't realize how these elder people are easily wounded by your stupid actions. They need love, they need a hug, they need peace in their hearts when they are old and they want to know they are belonged and loved just like any one of us. When you go to an old age home to visit these people, they do not want anything from you. WHY? Because they want you to sit next to them and talk to them because they are so lonely. 

Aged people just want to talk to you and share so much in an old age home, they want to express what they feel. I don't know about any of you, but it kills me to see an aged man/woman cry. They spent all their life believing they are loved and wanted and then .. they are disowned or too much of responsibility for you? People if you want to share true joy VISIT OLD AGE homes and spend time with them, Hold their hands and smile and laugh with them. All they need is love. 

Spread love, peace, share your chocolates, smile, hug and live life king size cause this too shall pass...

Peace

xoxoxo

Live it up

Hey guys,

been quite a while since i blogged, and coming to think of it, I don't really know why! :)

You know, it really is a short life, a blessed short and lovely life. To some of us it's nothing but routine, dull and pointless (specially if you keep planning and it doesn't work out the way it really should) and to many its a boon, a blessing, another chance to prove something or to someone. To so many it's another day that they feel God let them live and see the sun rise again.

Life is a struggle, a challenge, a chance, a test and a conquest and maybe a million other meanings to so many others. The point being? The point being "Live it Up"!

Have you ever thought of how you plan life so perfectly and forget in that effort how to REALLY live it? You plan a perfect date for the next day and for some reason it JUST doesn't go right?

You pray for someone to be safe and happy, but life just has other plans for them? You plan on doing that simple college project but a silly misunderstanding with your group effects the entire result? You know you love your family and know nothing will ever go wrong but something so untoward happens that it devastated your entire life? You are at the peak of your job and know you're just going to get that promotion but for some reason it all goes wrong!

Life is all about 'Dealing with the unexpected'. You believe and live with your ideas so long that if any changes come by, we fail to accept it and sob for them to happen for so long, the time lost is yours. The amount of stress we deal with at all phases of life, from being a student in school, to a student in college or at a job, with rivals, stress over a stranger staring too much, or stress over even stressing is just a big overload!

The very simple and neat purpose of life is to Live it as it comes and take a lesson. Move on, life or time doesn't wait, it keeps moving, you will see the next day, you will meet new people thats how it's supposed to be. The main FUNDA of today is, live life with all joy you can. Tomorrow is going to be too late to think of how I spent my yesterday. Make the most of it. Cheers! <3

The more you're happy the less you suffer. The more you forgive, the less you'll hate. Afterall "It's gotta be a good life" :D Cheers!!!