Listen to me

She sat there at the Cafe, at her usual spot, reading her book while absent-mindedly sliding her fingers on the rim of the cup as she read. She was mad. Mad would actually do little to what she felt the previous day, this was what she needed, a little "Me time". She knew reading would do good and keep her from torturing herself to thoughts of him.

She turned the next page and sipped her Cuppa when she heard her phone buzz and didn't even have to see it to know who it was. She ignored the ringtone on her phone and continued reading taking a deep breath. This happened for a while, her phone rang like 8 times and she didn't bother to pick it up. After what seemed like a while she just looked up and set a bookmark on the page and closed it. She saw outside, it was late afternoon, it was a Sunday. She turned and ordered for one more cuppa when she heard a voice say "Regular for me too". It was him, he raised a rather concerned brow up and sank into the chair opposite her while she angrily pulled her book up and started reading again. He stretched across the table and pulled the book off and said "Hey" she didn't reply. She looked at her phone and scrolled along when he added "I sort of called you like 20 times and left you a lot of messages in the last hour". Again! No reply. He got impatient, he could not bear her silence, he wasn't used to her being that "Detached" with him, it stung him. "Look I'm sorry. Please?" he hoped she would as much as at least look at him this time but all she did was called her friend on phone "hey Rish, are you free, lets go out....." while she said this he snapped "I am here, in front of you, please don't ignore me" he bleakly protested. This was it. She could not bear him like this. She had never liked to see him upset, never because of her "Rish, I'll call you in a bit, Bye babe." she said and looked at him.

He was looking at her. The eyes of someone who really meant their words when they said it, he had meant his apology. She tossed her hair out of her bun and started at him "Its ok". He knew what she actually meant was "Screw you" but he passed her cuppa towards her and stretched his hand to her face, irritated; wanting to pull her cheek but she backed away.

He was trying, she knew. He sipped his coffee in silence while she had hers feeling .. guilt? Why? What the hell? He stood her up yesterday, didn't have the courtesy to call or even inform her, she had taken a leave from work for him and she really was looking forward to spend time with him. He stood up and offered his hand "Right now, let's go, I am sorry, I want to make up for yesterday. I know I am not easy to be with .. but please, don't ignore me like this. I can do without anyone but.. you are .." he searched for words "please just come with me now" was all he said. She stood up not looking at him and cleared the cheque picking up her bag and out the cafe leaving his hand hanging in the air. He shook his head as she left and when he reached his car he saw her .. standing beside the car.. stomping her foot not looking at him. He couldn't help smile and throw his hands around her pulling her to him squeezing her. She couldn't be more angry at him than she was right then and he couldn't be more relieved than he was now. She didn't hug him back, but didn't mind him hugging her none-the-less. He smiled and pulled her cheek when he was done as they both sat in the car. "Assuming you're mad, because you refused my one-of-a-kind hug, I think I'll do the talking." he said rather Chirpy.


He looked at her hoping she'd smile but she didn't and after a while of driving he pulled over at one of the low lane bridges, empty for a sunday he thought. He got out and opened her door offering her a hand, she got out leaving his hand hanging again. He shook his head hurt again, he wanted her to talk to him. She hadn't text or called him in 2 days. He wanted her to be her chirpy, weird and crazy self with him. It was hard to believe he actually missed her chatter.. but mostly he missed her smile. She propped herself on his car's Bonnet while he stood in front of her. A stray lock of hair flew across her face while she looked at the sun set. He ached to pull that stray hair off her face and tuck it behind her ear, but he didn't want her to get mad.

"How was your day" she said plainly. "What? Me?" he replied rather surprised "Oh no, I meant the wind, how was your day dear wind. I was actually being poetic with the wind." she rolled her eyes. He laughed in relief and said "It just started, right now. With you." now smiling his angelic smile. She wanted to kill him, she really did hate his smile sometimes, he made her head go calm with that good-for-nothing annoying angel smile of his. "Demon" she said. "what?" he confirmed. "Nothing" she said. He had enough of it, he pulled the stray hair of hers and tucked it behind her ear gently, gentle enough to make her look at him. He smiled and cupped her face in both his hands and brought his face close to her. She wasn't sure what was going on but she was too dazed to react. He cupped her face and gently kissed her forehead. She felt her heart go humming-bird and a smile escape her lips. He slowly looked down at her and reflected her smile with his.

"I am sorry baby, I didn't want to ditch you yesterday, hate me a little less please?" he said. 

"She threw her arms around his tall waist as that was all she could reach and hugged him awkwardly "It's ok, I should've known.. it's you we're talking about" she said shaking her head. He pulled away and sat down on the bonnet beside her and said "June" he murmured. She got alarmed at that. JUNE, his on and off Girlfriend. "WHAT?" she said rather rudely. "She came over my place last evening and .. " he left his words hanging for her to figure. "So you ditch our plans for your ex.. I mean your girlfriend.. Whatever the hell she is to you" she spat "Right, why not, because obviously she is the epitome of significance in your life." She got down from the bonnet and he shut his eyes shaking his head as she did. "Baby, she.." he said before he got cut "You know what, let's go, drop me home. NOW" she said angrily as she sat in the car. He got in and scanned her angry features. He put his hand on hers firmly making sure she wouldn't shrug it and said "I am sorry. I couldn't think.." he said "You know she hates me right? YOU KNOW that don't you?" she cut him again.

He took a deep breath and said "All I am saying is.. wait, why are you so mad at me? Because JUNE visited me? She is .. my girlfriend.. well you know what I mean. I have history with her" he snorted. She gave him a stink eye and said "FINE. DRIVE. Screw me then, blow your plans with your friend for someone who keeps hurting you with her tantrums. Thanks man, good job" she said. 

He knew she cared, but just wanted this conversation to end "What do you want me to say Baby? Tell me and I will say it." he blurted. She got hurt at this and said softly "Just drive man, lets go, I don't think you need to be told shit, but next time, don't make plans with me, if you do then have the courtesy to cancel it instead of leaving me hanging, alright? That answer your question? Now home please.It's almost 7 PM now" she could feel her cheeks burn and a tear roll down her cheek which she wiped off immediately. He heard her speak and just drove rest of the way.. both silently looking away into the darkness. When they reached her apartment he wanted to hug her and apologise for being the way he was but as soon as they stopped the car she sprang out of the seat and shut his door and hasted to her apartment. All he did was look behind her as she did.. looking at how she could dismiss his situation, but he knew he was wrong. He always did this to her, made her wait, treated her as an option, didn't bother to tell her he cared. He was now thinking about it all, how he was such an idiot to treat her the way he did, she was such a good person, an honest friend. She loved him with no expectation but of friendship, but he always failed her. Every nerve in his body told him to step out and go after her and make the situation better and he was doing it when his phone rang cutting his thoughts into reality. It said "June Calling" he looked up and took and deep breath and looked at the vacant path leading to HER. She wouldn't understand he thought and received June's call "Hey babe, yeah.. Give me 10 minutes." he answered. 

He looked at her apartment up the 4th floor as her room's light lit up and whispered "If only you listen to me..." when his phone buzzed again. A text. "I'm sorry I yelled, I had no right. You take care xoxo" it said from her. He smiled vaguely and looked up at her apartment again, she was looking down at his car this time. She waved him goodbye, he felt a wave of emotions covering him as he waved her back and drove out. She did it again. How could she always manage to forgive him? Why did she? He was heading for June's but his head weaved around her thoughts as he did, wondering, arguing in his thoughts of what it was.

----------------------------------------PART 3-------------------------------

Listen to me

There she was, working at her office and scribbling notes off the internet. She liked being sure about things, doubly perhaps. She got in this habit of subconsciously biting her lips when she was confused and fiddling with her pen. She had had enough of work that day, when she saw the time it was close to 6:30 in the evening to which she sighed in relief and sprawled off her chair and shut her notebook close.


"You better be not working." said one text on her phone from Him. "We are going out for a movie :P" said the other. "Reply you dumbass" the third and "Fine I'll ask one of those chicks out then" said the last text in a span of what 3 hours? Ok, this was weird she thought. Him? He asked her out for a movie? She couldn't help but smile while she called him up and he answered with a "You are such a little piece of dramaqueen, why won't you reply." he said. "I am still at work, winding up now of course. So what's with the movie" she giggled. "I'm around your work place, come down in 2" was all he said and hung up. "B..." she hated it when he did this. Absolutely mad that he never heard what she had to say sometimes "Prick" was all she said while getting out.

He opened the door for her to help herself in the car. She was putting all her things away while he patiently stared at her like it was an apocalypse and raised a furious eyebrow at her. "What?" she said. He shrugged a rather rude jerk and resumed driving without a word. "What's with you lately?" she shook her head not expecting a reply. "And you have forgotten how to greet me haven't you, you little moron" he gritted his teeth. She laughed loud enough to piss him off and turned to him while he drove and gave him a brief hug and ruffle his hair. "Don't spoil the doo idiot" he said as he pulled her one of her cheeks in return. He hated it when his hair was bad. She shook her head and rolled her eyes and sat back into the seat comfortably. "So where are we going" she inquired "Movie?". "No, I already got someone else to tag along with me since you didn't answer" he said lazily "Oh....ok" she said, partly disappointed. "Who are you going with?" she asked "Someone you don't like" he grinned at her. She didn't have the energy to ask who it was. He pulled her hand and rest it on the steering wheel and said "Hold it for me, I need to look at you while you burn down to jealousy." he was amused at her silence. She hit his hand and pulled hers away as he laughed rather enjoying this.

He drove down to her place and parked his car and turned to her turning the lights off just to see how pissed she was. She didn't turn to look at him. She knew he would speculate and simply said "See you, thanks for the ride..." he poked her rib while she said this. "oww" she complained and turned to look at him to only find him smiling his crooked angelic smile. "I am waiting down here, get changed and come" he said in an even tone. "No! Carry on with whatever you have planned" she said dryly. He shook his head once and held his smile and said "20 minutes enough time for you to get ready?". She hated this. He was so damn annoying and good at convincing her the same time. She breathed heavily and gasped "FINE" was all she said and couldn't help smiling secretly when she got out of his car. She ran up to her apartment and pulled out her clothes to a semi-casual and quickly freshened up and to her surprise was ready in like 10 minutes and back down to the parking. She pulled the door open and saw him on a call, busy blasting someone away. Curiously she wriggled her brows at him and he shook his head while on phone assuring her it was Ok and turned the gas on and drove. His gaze turned to her again and this time he smiled and raised his free hand to make a thumbs up. She smiled at him and asked him to drive in actions. They were rather used to each other. He was on the same call most of the way and she thought of it a good time to reply to everybody's texts and calls. She checked her facebook and saw His status say "Giving In" and she looked at him while he finally hung up and said "You look nice" in the same tone.

"Giving In? What? Whom? Where? What is that about?" she asked ignoring his compliment. He facepalmed and laughed "Don't stalk my profile you little moron" he joked "I am NOT. It's there on my timeline" she murmured. So he didn't want to tell her what that was about, that wasn't new to her. She got really pissed at him, he always wanted to know what she did but never really bothered enough to actually describe what was happening inside his head. "Where are we going, or is that a big secret too?" she snorted "Dinner" he said plainly. "Where?" she asked again. He didn't reply. "WHERE? WHERE?" she nudged him. "Shut up, do you have a cab to catch or something? You're with me, we go where I take you and this is the time when we both unwind, remember?" he said the last word matching her gaze. She felt a wave of giddiness the way he said it. Like it implied something she had forgotten. He smiled victoriously to finally shut her off and said "Now do the honours and turn on some good music baby." he said nodding his head to the player. She couldn't remember the last time he did this. Drive, spending time and being laid back.. dinner outside? She was a little lost for words or to react in any way. She played one of them songs they both loved to which they both looked at each other at the same time and started singing cheerfully. "I like you when you're not a complete ass you know?" she confessed. Changing the gear he smiled and said nothing.

There was this acute need for her to reason out what was happening, but there was this happiness she felt with him at that time which she thought she had long forgotten they both had as friends. She missed spending time with Him. She missed knowing what he always did, his silly jokes, she hated his routine and she hated the fact he was sucked in so many other issues and people and made no time for her. But this .. this was refreshing, like a tender reminder of the great times they had before he got busy. She wanted to ask him what was happening again, but he seemed to happy to really burst his bubble. She pulled his cheek softly and hugged his friend momentarily and pulled back. "Ass" she said "You really need to stop being a pervert baby, you ain't getting it" he laughed. Perfect! They were both at ease again, joking, arguing, being silly and unwinding their day together. "Listen to me, maybe I don't have work tomorrow, come with me tomorrow?" he said. She looked at him with eyes of agreement even without knowing what place or where was he talking about, he knew she wouldn't ever refuse his request, and a request that came out like that? No way in hell would she say no. She nodded and they spent the rest of the evening in glee and fun. Being themselves! Being with the people who mattered, they'd forgotten how happy they made each other. This was a nice change, a change she didn't mind that stayed. She loved all her friends, him, in particular she cared for the most maybe... She just brushed the back of his hand which was busy directing the gears gently and let it go that night, waiting for whatever came the next day.

---------------------------------End of Part 2----------------------------------------

Listen to me

It was getting late in the evening, she was hanging out at the cafe all by herself reading her book at peace not realizing the time. She looked up because she thought she scattered the coffee on the table and that broke her concentration.

She looked out of the cafe and saw it was getting dark. She pulled her hand up and checked the time and got a little anxious and thought "Where are you?". She shut her book and called for the cheque and caught herself discussing possibilities in her head as to where he might be. He was a friend, the one she just cared for more than she realized she did. She checked her phone it said she had a message "Come home directly, I have a little work on the way." She was glad he at least bothered to drop a text. 

She caught a cab and directed it to his place. She called up her friend "Hey Rish, Don't wait up, long story short, I might get late, you know he is weird to deal with." She got down at the curb of his building and walked her way up to his apartment. She rang the bell to his apartment and was let in by his younger sister. She tossed her bag on the side of the table and let herself in his room and opened the windows, pulled the curtains down before she felt  her hands get wet. She pulled the curtains up again and saw that it was raining and shut the windows off again cussing under her breath. She knew this would give him an extra excuse to be late.

She asked his sister who was giggling at her irritation and smiled back at her. "Kyle, do you need something? Did you eat dinner?" she asked his adorable sister and hung out with her watching some TV. They were playing a game on the Xbox when they heard the bell at the door. The little girl sprang towards the door and let his older brother in "We have been waiting for you" she said "I know Kyle" he smiled back at her with those loving eyes. Kyle caught his hand and brought him in and asked "Where'd she go?" to which he replied said "I know". He let Kyle in her room and shut the door for her to sleep. He came in the kitchen and saw Her, she was making them both some Green tea and turned and said "You're late" while she handed him the mug with a smile. He seemed to roll his eyes and sip it up and said "And you survived it" while he sipped up another go and hugged her with one arm across her back careful not to spill any tea on her and pecked her head. "Uhhh I missed you" she said as she hugged him back and straightened herself up again smiling.

"What took you? Is everything Ok with all your girlfriends? Where's the gang? Hey do you know this book I am reading is getting a little creepy....." she kept talking to him, happy to finally see him when he broke her off saying "Wow, breathe Grandma" to which she snorted and sat down with her mug on the beanie with no conversation after that. He enjoyed this. Making her furious and catching her off guard, it gave him pleasure; the nice kinds. He felt he could make silly conversation with her without being judged and that she understood that, it was nice to unwind and be at home, with someone. "And now I will be served with the dead Silent treatment for a 5..4..3..2.." he looked at her as he spoke and he saw her smiling already and mirrored her smile with his.

"You cannot do that you know?" She argued "Do what?" He dismissed the argument. "Be a jerk and then know your way into being a suave .. person." she fumbled "Person?" he exclaimed, "I rock your world and you know that" he smirked. She shook her head smiling and got up from the beanie taking his empty mug and hers into the kitchen. When she returned she saw him out in the balcony in the rain. "Don't tell me you're secretly Batman" she joked "Na! I am way more sexy and secretive" he looked sideways at her "And I am Batman" they both laughed. "Its pouring dude, I need to get back home if no one's coming plus you still aren't your usual self, so this leads me to the question again what is wrong with you.. you weirdo" she managed to poke his rib. "Nothing really! Just tired" he said. "So why did you call me here?" she asked "because I thought you would be dying to meet me and you know I am noble like that" he looked at her sideways again, this time with his sly smile. "Oh yeah, I was dying, how you know me" sarcasm was what they both shared at their best. They probably loved the sarcasm they shared, they didn't mind it, it was fun for them, they could go on and on for hours. She breathed in  irritation and he sensed that and said "Cuter with flaring nostrils" she squinted her eyes and said "Shut up before I throw you right down this balcony".

"I am leaving, anyway I will see you tomorrow you jackass of a royal highness" she turned inside the room when he caught her hand and said "You really going? Stayyyyyyyy!" She shrugged and said "You, get bored of me and then end up texting stupid people I don't like which even annoys me more" to which he couldn't resist saying "And you still love me.. Admit it!". "SHUT UP" she said and wriggled her wrist out of his hand. He took her bag and flung in off her hand and said "Shut up and stay". This time, in a nicer way "Listen to me, will you?" he smiled his angel smile. He had a crooked smile, the one that ended one side. She hated it, she hated it when he was nice to her because she would listen to him even if he was wrong when he did this... he smiled the most angelic smile. It made her want to fight the world for him and what made it worse was he knew it. He knew he had that power and right on her. She shook her head and sat on the bed to which he raised his collar victoriously and wiggled his eyebrows. She threw a pillow right at him with force "Prick" she said.

"What are we doing now? I am bored and you are going to end up texting people and ignoring me and then I will end up watching some movie while you doze off" She said. "No I am not" he sounded irritated "Don't judge me you midget, I can't help if girls are in love with me". She facepalmed and picked up her book and started reading again. He came next to her on the bed and took the book away from her and gave her a hug. There was nothing in the world she loved more than his hug, it was crazy calm. She felt at peace with him, she didn't have to try at all. She hugged him back and rubbed his back a moment as she did while hugging. "So you're not so bad" she smiled. He smirked right back at her breaking the hug "I rock your world, I keep saying that. Buy it". 

Her phone rang and it was one of his friends' "Zac" she said "Cut it" he said. She made a face "what is wrong?" He said nothing and turned away. She left her phone aside and crawled to him and asked "WHAT IS THE MATTER?" he wasn't looking at her "You should go" was all he said. She got upset at this and rubbed his back "I am sorry, I'll leave" she was leaving again this time picking up her bag and turned to hug him "Bye Weirdo, call me if you need me" she said as she hugged him tight. He felt a hollow in his heart as he hugged back and let her go. Just as she reached the door.. he pulled her back with force and hugged her again "Stop doing this" he said in a whisper. She was caught off guard and was already pissed since before and didn't know how to react.She could feel the tension in his voice and spoke "What did I do? I mean I can't even ask you anything if I do .." she broke off when he interrupted her "Shut up and listen to me.. stop speaking" he hugged her again gently. She didn't mind it. "You're so stupid sometimes I want to yell at you" he said while hugging her. She was really confused. "You don't see the bad in people, no one cares you know?" he continued "Stop being nice to everyone.. specially me" She had to look at him now but he refused to leave her. "What did I do? I am sorry.. I don't know what do you mean." she was worried now. He squeezed her a moment and left her. She looked at him and saw him smile, he held her hand and took her back in the room "I am sorry I am rude to you" he paused "But this is not in my plan" was all he said and smiled at her warmly fixing a stray hair strand that stuck between her eyes. He was acting differently, she could sense it. Before she could ask anything, he made a silly joke about how funny she looked with her hair tied shabbily as he held her hand and they both headed to their room. She wanted to know badly.. she needed to know what he meant earlier. But she had to wait a while before she did ask him, she knew he would get angry if she asked him right away.



--------------------------------------(END OF PART 1)--------------------------------

When dark at night xoxo

I reckon events down the memory lane. Sometimes when you let your memories take over you have the most convincing bittersweet feeling that only you, within your heart can understand.

When dark at night, when the sun goes down, when people are busy winding their tired day up, for some who're wishing the day to end.. when a few are waiting eagerly for the night with expectations for maybe meeting someone, maybe anticipating someone's text late hours, party heads getting ready for another jive, lovers that wait just to unite, couples secretly disappearing from gatherings just to spend some time, people with crushes exchanging those secret eye locks and messages, that perfect long drive with the someone you met and had them figured wrong all the while and discover how amazing they are, the long walks you have with that girl/guy where you two possibly walk slower just to bargain time you want to spend with each other. So many emotions, so much to say, such little time and too many misunderstandings to solve.

Nights, the dark, the time between the sunset and sunrise may surprise you. The most unexpected things happen in the night. The time when you hide your faces in the shadows and speak freely of the will that maybe felt exposed in the light. Secrets spilled between friends late nights that easily pass on as strong memories. Sweet nothings between lovers who have nothing but that time frame where they can truly convince and determine what exists is surreal. Confessions that start something new, confessions that keep you awake. The dark brings those crazy times when you and your friends want to get wasted and debate on who's place to crash or even be crazy with. Night brings two strangers who always had feelings for each other, hidden maybe, together for maybe a small conversation.. where they get to know each other better and ease their nerves to happiness. Some may just hope their pain goes away, their happiness returns the next day. We are all playing a small part of the bigger stage.

Nights keep me up to be honest, for the thrill of it. I endure a lot of memories, live in them and remake those memories. I keep my memories alive at night and sometimes rethink them to make it better. Nothing is hidden from us, nothing. Our species, humans, we know a lot, but are scared to really ponder over the obvious for the fear of HURT. Hurt, its a powerful emotion, it can make or break so many. It's remarkable how we survive each day and wake up to the next feeling a different mood or a different person everyday. Hopes, wishes, dreams, desires, love, lust, prayers, hate, happiness, solitude, jealousy, happiness, assurance, longness - what is your pick at night?

Imagine the empty roads under the sky, how pretty they must be! The cold breeze, the starry nights, streets full of light.



Nights, what happens in the night is what marks a difference for our tomorrows. I made many friends, acquaintances and a lot of bestfriends. As cliche as it may sound, I adore the night for what it gives is peace. It is that slot of the 24 hours where your mind can unwind and repeat the day and your heart can give in or give up on situations. It is a breather for the soul. If happy, the emotions are heightened at night, if sad - misery overwhelms you completely. Such is the power of night. When God planned our stay as beings, I'm pretty sure he was convinced of the oddity of life for humans and maybe grinned at the splash of black he painted we call "Night".

All the anxiety, imagine what 7 billion people are doing right now? Given our different timezones someone this very moment is in love, someone may just have gotten a dream job, someone may just have married the man/woman of their dreams and some may be in deep slumber dreaming their dream. The dawn cracks brings hope, restores doubts or maybe gives you a new meaning to the day, the sun ensures that the night had happened and now you get to live what you went past last night. Embrace the dark, welcome the light.

When dark at night, your mind is free, your mind knows its state and is ready to give you answers you might have not known. Listen to your heart, let your mind take you places. When dark at night, don't be scared, you shine your brightest in the dark. Hold that true. For what nights holds is bittersweet, a mix and match of emotions you really need to reflect on.



Stay Blessed, Stay loved and always proud.
(I am a night person, nocturnal and epic)
Tash.
xoxo

Riddles those dreams..

Up in the air, Breathing the chills,

Blinding lights, vivid horizons, 

Today I look, look you in the eye,

 I grab the sight to chase the dream.

Touching the unseen, breathing the free,

Drinking despair, shuffling fate, 

Today I wear, wear the ensemble of hope,

I dare it all to chase the dream.

Played the devil, tilting sides,

Trading souls, repeating them chants,

Today I trace the lines of my palm, trace them to reassure,

I endure it all to chase the dream.

Shrugging fear, jazzing away,

Touching my heart to feel again,

Today I know what's at stake, at stake is all,

My life, my name, all to chase a dream, to capture a perfect being.

It's all a riddle, plotting schemes,

Making decisions, uncanny or bleak,

Tossing hope, juggling insight,

All wrapped around, that riddle; my dream.